• In college, I ran an illegal laundry business from my dorm.

• As a child, I read picture book adaptations of classic literature and wowed my parents by summarizing Moby Dick. I think it worked because they hadn’t read it either.

• I perform stand-up comedy, collect comic books, and consistently obliterate the competition in trivia tournaments.

• Lids blocked me on Twitter. Yeah, the hat company.

• I once tricked Newt Gingrich into signing a picture of similarly named Star Wars villain, Nute Gunray. That picture is now one of the first things that pop up when you search “Newt Gingrich autograph” on Google images.

• I’ve had my jokes published in Reader’s Digest

• I’ve been a bodyguard for the Vienna Boys' Choir.

• I am the oldest of five kids. I learned to be loud at an early age.

• I believe that lists of random snippets about a person are the best way to figure out who they are.

RESUME